Downhill National Championships at Llangollen, July 18-19 2015
Considering I had only raced once this year and I had only been out riding a handful of times, I felt quite relaxed as I headed for practice day at Llangollen.
I have to admit, in the weeks leading up to the race I had felt extreme nerves and worry that I wasn’t ready to come back to downhill racing.
Since pretty much the end of last season, biking had taken a back seat in favour of work and the two courses I was completing. When there was a lot of coursework to be done and some tough exams to revise for, there was no choice but to give up on the biking for a while.
The longest time in fact since I took up the sport almost five years ago.
Despite this, I kept contemplating the whole thing as a brilliant opportunity to return to racing feeling refreshed. Usually by July I would be into double figures in terms of races I’d completed.
I made sure I was organised to go to the race on Saturday and arrived feeling quite excited. The track for the Nationals was the Son of Squirrel, the newest track at Llangollen and one I had ridden only four times before, in the soaking wet.
Saturday was blazing hot and the track was as dry as it could possibly be. I set off for a practice run as I was too late arriving to take a track walk.
I followed Ian (team mate and bike buddy) down the track as he had already done two runs.
Approaching the end of the track. Eagles Nest Photography.
The track was so dusty, it was amazing! Berm after berm was massively smile-inducing as the track weaved down the hill. The lower section of track was a long stretch of off-camber (longer than any other off camber that’s been used before at Llangollen.
The dry weather did make traversing off-camber easier but it was still tough, it crossed over a well-ridden old track and it was easy to drop onto this section if you didn’t pay enough attention!
After that it was a corner around a tree, the big drops (or the ‘alternative’ line) and the well-known finish field!
My first run was not good, but then that is to be expected. After my third run I had got to grips with the track and could remember which turn followed which, so I could start thinking about adding some speed.
By early afternoon I could feel my confidence coming back and I started to feel good again on the bike. In general I was just loving being back on my Mondraker and enjoying the dusty turns.
Dropping into the finish field. Photo: Lucie Byrne
The only area I was feeling out of touch on was the off camber. After two previous encounters in races with a shorter stretch of this off camber you would have thought I’d find it a breeze but for some reason I just didn’t feel happy on it. Nowhere near race pace.
I went home after practice feeling okay but very tired. It was quite a physical track with all the turns and that really took its toll on my arms and legs!
In the evening I checked the weather forecast and it gave overnight rain, which I was pretty annoyed about. It’s typical that whenever there is a race it would rain on Saturday night or all day Sunday after being glorious on practice day.
As the track was so much fun in the dry I really didn’t want the rain to come and spoil it either.
But fortunately the sun shone early on Sunday and it wasn’t long before the track was dry again. By the time I got to the top for my first race run it was completely dry!
I did a couple of practice runs just to get familiar and then the agonising wait for race runs began. I hate this time on race day, just watching the clock and waiting and trying to keep your mind focused. I always seem to overthink and get into a bad place in my head!
I got on the uplift trailer around 40 minutes before my seeding run was to begin. The trailer filled up but for some reason the driver didn’t move. I started to get a bit nervous because I like to be at the top and prepared well before my start time.
Eventually the trailer pulled off and I figured from the time that I would only just get to the top in time. There was a delay getting bikes off at the top and by the time I’d rushed over to the start line the marshals were arranging Junior boys.
I was with a few other girls and we all exchanged glances as the marshal just told us to step aside as we explained.
The second marshal then said he needed us to go first, which prompted the first marshal to sharply tell us to get a move on and get to the front. I was feeling frustrated already at the whole situation so I let him know that it wasn’t our fault we were stuck at the bottom in a trailer for 15 minutes.
He simply replied “Well we’re timing here!” Which I thought was quite rude as he clearly hadn’t listened.
I was put straight on the start line and without any beeps I was told to go. I felt completely disorganised and unsettled when I pedalled away. Not the mindset I wanted to be in at all.
Heading down the track I decided not to give it everything in my first run because it technically doesn’t count for anything, and my legs were already feeling the pain of practice day.
Round the berms I went, feeling smooth and perhaps a little too steady. I came around a right-hander and found myself much closer to the inside than I had in practice. As I skidded towards the tightest point of the corner I could see there was a sort of ‘verge’ at the end. I went off it but my balance just went, causing my to lurch into the bank.
I was really annoyed at myself as this part of the track hadn’t even been an issue in practice. I was also in a really high gear from the first straight and found it hard to get going on the flat straight.
Photo: Sarah Barrett
I did feel completely deflated by this point and pedalled my way to the finish line not expecting anything special. And of course there was nothing special waiting for me. 3.19 – 5th place in Non-Championship Senior Women.
Despite being quite put out at the result, I reminded myself that qualification times count for nothing and I still had everything to play for in finals.
Waiting for finals to come around seemed even more painful. I was keen to set the record straight and wanted to prove to myself that I still had it.
After putting my biking aside in favour of revision and assignments, I had hoped that somehow it would all come together and all I could do was put my faith in that belief that it would come together.
I gave plenty of extra time to get up to the top for finals, not wanting to be caught out by the trailer delays. However this time we got to the top and a red flag on track caused around 20 minutes of delays, so we were left waiting for quite a bit longer than we expected!
Breathing deeply I sat on the start line and just told myself to calm down. I managed to get my nerves to go away quite well; usually I’m quite a mess of butterflies and panic by finals.
I set off, trying to keep everything rational and talk myself through each bit. I got through the right-hander that I’d crashed on in seeding okay and kept on going.
There were a few moments where, looking back, I should have got way more loose. I distinctly remember dragging my brakes down a straight chute where I really should have been death-gripping the bars and kicking the back end round the next berm.
In my head as I was hanging on my brakes I was thinking “You really shouldn’t be doing this.” But for some reason I carried on that trend.
It even caused me to have another stumble on a corner in the middle of the track, where I skidded into the embankment that had developed and lost my footing, letting go of the bars in a bid to keep myself upright. It wasn’t a complete disaster crash, but it was enough to unsettle me.
I reached the off camber and wanted to prove that I could actually smoothly get over it. I held my line, but in my search for smoothness I think I completely forgot I was in a race run, and my pace was forgotten as I neatly trundled across the high line.
A furious pedal to the finish and as I crossed the line I initially thought it had been an alright run. In hindsight I think my mind had just focused on the smoothness of the run.
But smooth isn’t really what you need when you’re racing.
I had managed to knock 10 seconds off my qualifying run: 3.09. Lucy Drees was untouchable in first place with a 2.45, while Franki Evans crossed the line in 3.02 for second place.
Lucy Bulkeley rounded off the podium in third with 3.06 and Rachel Simpson came in with a 3.07.
I was devastated to see how precious seconds had distinctly ticked away in silly moments on track, and I had one of those “If only I hadn’t…” moments, making myself feel worse and worse. Even the commentator told me not to look so grumpy!
I know that messing up is part of racing, especially downhill, where every second, every tap of the brakes and every pedal turn counts. But I just couldn’t help but feel down in the dumps!
Overall I think I had forgotten how to approach racing. I was riding well inside my comfort zone and almost seemed afraid to let the bike get even a tiny bit loose.
I was so disappointed with myself, and to be honest I still am. I’m afraid that I’ve lost everything I have slowly built up over the years by neglecting my bike for so long and just expecting to pick up where I left off.
SARAH STAPLES 